Category Archives: Rules

The potch

About a year ago, W instituted what we call the "potch." It's a Yiddish word that means, basically, a small smack. In our world, it means a few smacks that I get every night at bedtime. It can be as few as one, delivered just to stay in the routine, or a few dozen. It's not a major spanking, and I rarely feel it for more than a few minutes afterward.

And the thing is, even though I thought I would need more than that–even though, perhaps at some times, I do need more than that–it works. It seems meaningless, and in the beginning, there was often a temptation to skip it, because, really, what difference would a few smacks on my bottom make in our dynamic?

But on nights when it's not wise or practical to do the potch (for instance, if my mother-in-law is visiting), our dynamic begins to get out of sync. (Mind you, that could also be due to the stress of having my mother-in-law visiting… but it also happens if we skip for other reasons.)

Continue reading

It’s Not Squicky, It’s My History

Trying this again … a repost from my blog. Apologies to those who read both — which I think is up to 4 people now. LOL

Today I was thinking about how what happened to us as children shapes who we become as adults. Of course, I began to think of this in the context of spanking. Some people find this topic extremely squicky … for me, it’s kind of matter-of-fact.

I was spanked, mostly by my mother (only once by my dad that I remember — but I remember every detail, oddly) until I was around 9 or 10. I was a good kid, really. I didn’t lie, didn’t cuss, didn’t *pick* fights with my brothers (though one of my brother’s and I fought almost constantly). When I grew into a teenager I NEVER smoked, drank, sneaked out … In fact, the only really big thing I did was have sex. I’m pretty sure if my mom thought a belt whipping would work to stop me from doing that again, she would’ve. As it was, she yelled for awhile and then said “You’re going to get PREGNANT!” and she almost passed out when I said, “I am not. I know how to use a condom properly.” Ah, memories. LOL

But some of those spankings I remember in great detail — what I had done “wrong” (some of them were just downright un-fucking-fair), where I was spanked, what I was spanked with, etc. And I remember, too, how broken I always felt afterwards. You know how you read M/f or M/m stories and there’s often a hug at the end, and the parent or adult wiping the tears away and stuff? Yeah … never happened to me. As soon as I was let up from her lap I would usually be yelled at again to go to my room — or I’d run there of my own volition — and I would bawl. I don’t remember crying because it hurt — I’m sure it did, but I don’t remember the physical pain at all — I cried because I thought she hated me when she spanked me. I never had some warm, fuzzy, “this will hurt me more than it hurts you” talk with my mom before; and there was never a hug after … I ALWAYS knew that she was angry when she spanked, and I often wouldn’t even look at her the rest of the day.

Continue reading

Frantic Fondling

A few minutes of research indicates that I have been seriously absent here. Seriously. I’ve written 2 entries since this very day last year. Why, you ask? Because I’m a well-behaved (if wanton) girl. Usually.

Not today, though.

In the interest of complete transparency, I have been spanked frequently in the last year. And you might say that I’ve been in trouble once or twice. Generally, though, I think I’ve been fairly level-headed and emotionally stable this last year. All in all, there have been noticeably fewer days when I’ve been in a tantrum with Chris, fewer days when I’m so overwhelmed that I vacillate between distraction and depression, and many fewer days when the little things add up so dramatically that I break down in tears by bedtime.

Continue reading

New Uniforms and New Beginnings

The PB has been relatively quiet lately, though research shows that’s not due to a lack of spanking or spanking writing by many of the authors here.  Here’s my research update.  Since last we heard from them, the ever so sexy Natty has been experimenting with topping and (of course) she has been spanked as well.   The lovely Haron has been welcomed home with a whipping (o that Abel!) while sparkle has been directed to devise her own painful welcomes for her reunion with Chris (who has been posting pictures of sparkle’s bum, but that’s another matter).   DykeGrrl / Jigsaw Analogy can often be found on the forum where I discovered she’s getting regular maintenance spankings on Sundays (me too!).

Finally, Paul pointed out late this afternoon that Iris was in trouble today too and going to get a spanking.  More sunburn trouble for Iris, complete with (perhaps) a spanking with / in front of a girlfriend guest.

gymslip-uniformOkay, so I’ve delayed enough I guess.  A careful reader (which I’m sure you all are) would have noted the word “too” in that sentence above.  “Too” as in “also” or “as well.”  Since it was agreed last Sunday that we would use Sunday’s to discuss the week, and I’ve known all week I’d be spanked Sunday.  A tiny part of me has been looking forward to it because it would mean I was going to wear my new uniform.  But only a tiny part because I knew that the very act of wearing it would prompt a hard spanking and I’m not crazy.  You see, a little over a month ago, Paul surprised me with two authentic gym-slips.  They were ordered from a UK eBay vendor but they’re imported from South Africa where school girls still wear them.  Although I’d tried them on, personal circumstances which required Paul to travel to the UK quite suddenly coupled with a heat wave (the uniform is a black wool blend) here when he returned  (with some authentic uniform shirts no less) meant I hadn’t had a chance to really wear it yet.  Those of you who know me know that in addition to being a “sick little hand-tawsing freak” (thanks Niki), I have serious love for traditional uniforms.  Had this managed to be simply a maintenance spanking, it probably would have been eager anticipation I felt last night.

Instead, given that the phrase “You’ll get an e*e*a to clean you out in the morning when we get up and then we’ll deal with everything else this afternoon” or something very close to it, was uttered, I was kept awake by more than just concern over the Doctor Who cliff hanger.  The e*e*a was to be my punishment for having eaten sugar without permission.

Continue reading

A Real Punishment

It's been a long time since I've earned a real punishment.  Sure, I've been smacked and scolded; I've mouthed off and stuck out my tongue; I've transgressed minor rules and even gotten hairbrushed a little.  But a real, serious, big-time punishment?  It's been a while.

So when I got a text message from M on Monday, I was nervous.  The text said, "When you get home you are to change into your plaid skirt and a white shirt and wait for me."  Gulp.  Wouldn't you have been a little nervous?

Continue reading

I Like to Ask

Over the past several weeks, Chris has tried gamely to convince me to ask for a hairbrushing.

This, right now, I cannot do. I tried, really I did. I knew it would please him to take a piece of ebony or mahogany to my bottom until I was beyond whining. I knew it would please him in a convoluted way to end a punishment that has gone on much longer than either of us anticipated when he imposed it…

Maybe I should back up.

Continue reading

The Punishment Paradox

In her weekly brunch, Bonnie has asked readers this week a question that I think most of us here on the PB have discussed at one time or another (and for some of us, numerous times) on the soc.sexuality.spanking newsgroup. Namely, if we spankos actually enjoy being spanked, can punishment spankings even work? I left a short comment on Bonnie's blog but the more I thought about it, the more I decided I wanted to write more, especially as it coincides with something I've been thinking about for a few months.

This particular question is an interesting one for me as my partner and I switch but I alone get punished for real life transgressions. It's not because he's perfect and I'm not. Far from it (though not too far…::smile::). We are both equally human and fallible. Indeed, we even have a lot of the same bad habits. We both procrastinate. We both markedly underestimate how long a task will take. We can both be slightly impulsive shoppers. We are both extremely competitive (though I'm not sure that's necessarily a fault…)

Continue reading

Re-starting

So, after a not entirely intentional hiatus over the summer and early fall, W. and I are working on getting our "system" working (again).  It’s a struggle, and I’ll probably wind up posting much more about it later.  This stuff is hard work!

We’ve been going through the rules, and trying to set things up so that 1, they’re actually useful for both of us, and 2, so that the consequences work for both of us.  And I’m working on getting myself to trust that they will work, which is even more difficult.

One of the issues is lying (and, how unfair is this, she’s including "lying by omission," which is my usual tendency, since I’m actually a pretty bad liar face to face).  She’s looking for ideas about specific punishments for telling lies.  (I think being required to play 200 rounds of Word Whomp online would be a fitting punishment, but I think she’d disagree.)

W’s also going to be getting her blog up and running, and plans to be asking a lot more questions this time around.  When that’s been done, I’ll probably post about it, and encourage people to surf over and comment there.

Also, on a somewhat related note, if anyone knows of a DD-type forum where the people don’t do the whole "this setup works because men are naturally more responsible and women are weak, and that’s how God ordained things to be" thing, and where they won’t object to a same-sex couple, it would be really helpful if you could let me know.

Thanks.  I’ll hopefully post in more detail when I have longer than 15 minutes to do so.

The Repeat Offender

Certain misdeeds chase me like demons of doom: most of the time I get punished for things I had already done wrong before, and suffered the consequences for, possibly several times.

It would be tempting to say: "Well, obviously, spanking doesn't work if you re-offend," but it's not so simple.

I don't react well to being expected to reform once and for all after only one occasion. Whether there's a spanking involved or not, the "go forth and sin no more, EVER" approach only makes me resentful: if I *could* avoid certain undesirable behaviour for the rest of my life, then I would, punishment or no punishment. I expect to live for a long time, though, and I don't anticipate spending any part of my life as a saint – which would certainly be the implication if all my usual quirks and badnesses were corrected forever within the next few years.*

One of my pet hates is hearing the phrase "Obviously, last time I didn't punish you hard enough." I don't hate it in a love/hate way: it just irritates the hell out of me. I'm not receptive to punishment when I'm irritated.

On the other hand, the phrase "I let you off last time", said in a hurt, regretful tone shred me into tiny little pieces.

Continue reading

Sleeping, Spice Drops and Ping Pong

Just a quick note before my embarrassing stuff, sparkle has a wonderful little entry over on her blog here and a (very hot) list of her rules and consequences here

So go read her stuff.

You’re still here? 

Damn!

Okay, so I got spanked this morning.  Not just spanked, punished actually.  Why?  For going to bed very late (4:15am)  and then getting up very early  (6:45am). 

Details?  Okay…

Continue reading