Category Archives: Education

Being Bad

I’ve been struggling with a chapter of my thesis. This is because I’m lazy. But also it’s because the chapter had little to do with the lovely, exciting European Court of Human Rights, which is my specialty, and lots to do with the dull, disgusting European Union legislation. Yawn. My usual way of dealing with a tricky piece of work is to avoid it for as long as possible, and then even longer, way past the possible avoidance cut-off date, and then get depressed because it had to be done OMG THREE MONTHS AGO, and freeze.

So I did that.

The complete freaking out over this paper happened just about at the time when we started this blog. Abel and I had been going easy on discipline for a couple of months. And the stuff we’d tried before hadn’t really worked for me, because, frankly, I don’t think Abel realised just how bad my work habits are, and how much control I need in order to work out some better ones.

But here I was, blogging about discipline, and at the same time having so little of that discipline that my work had got to the stage where the task seemed too great to even attempt it. So, you see, I *had* to tell Abel that it would be nice of him if he could rub my nose into my work more thoroughly than he’d done it before.

He’s a soft man, but he obliged. He told me to submit a report on my progress every day, and that, if by 5 pm next Friday the paper wasn’t finished, in our weekly review meeting he would put me over his knee and spank me harder than ever before. He would spank me for six minutes.

He’d spanked me awfully hard before, and for nothing like this long. In fact, just the previous day he’d spanked me for two minutes with his left hand, because it was the way I happened to have landed over his lap, and it had *hurt*. It was definitely going to be his stronger right hand doing the smacking if it came to that. I had an uh-oh feeling, and on Monday morning I got to work.

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A Sunday in Disgrace

So last night I posted that I wouldn’t be on-line today (Sunday) and that I was to be punished but didn’t know what would happen. Pablo has done a number of different things to punish me over the years we’ve been together. I suspected it would involve pain and my bottom, but also wondered what else might be done.

Frequently the “what else” is the hardest part.

All day yesterday I seemed to be pretending tomorrow (today) was Monday rather than Sunday. Sunday is our traditional day for accounting the past week and planning the next. And this was an accounting I feared, while at the same time I was also afraid that maybe Pablo was going to tell me that since I wasn’t putting in any effort, we were going to once again put the idea of discipline (I like sparkle’s term “methodic discipline”) on hold for a while. You see, one of the things we’ve discovered is that Pablo can’t pull me along (at least not very far or very often). He can be very effective at pushing me back on track, but the primary motivation must always come from inside me.

This week it hasn’t.

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