Monthly Archives: November 2009

Unresolved: Establishing Authority

I wrote this to post over at This Thing We Do Forum, and then thought that it would be a useful post for the Punishment Book as well. I also want to encourage people–especially tops, we REALLY need some tops over there–to check out the forum and join in the discussions there, if they are so inclined. It’s a pretty great place, or so the people who are members keep telling me. 🙂

W asked me to post about this, although I admit that I can’t remember all of the specifics of what she wanted me to say. So I will go with my best memory, and add some things from my own perspective, and we’ll see where that gets us.

We have been struggling for a while with W establishing her authority. I am frustrated. I feel like either I’m making myself follow the rules and behave–which undermines my perception of W’s authority, because I feel like I’m the one in control of what happens, and whether or not we get into fights. Or else I’m breaking the rules, and causing W to respond to my behavior–that kind of topping-from-the-bottom thing, which makes me feel like I’m still the one in control of the situation.

W, on the other hand, is frustrated because she feels like she *is* establishing her authority. From her viewpoint, either I’m following the rules, or I am breaking the rules, and she is enforcing them. And then she’ll get feedback from me, usually afterward, that says, “Well, but I felt like I was the one in charge of that situation.” Which, frankly, undermines her confidence in her authority.

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A First Punishment…

No, it won’t be the first (nor, I think I can safely say, last) punishment, in my 4 plus years with my Master. But, it was a first time for this sort of punishment (sadly, also probably not the last), and my first time writing for The Punishment Book, which makes enough firsts to inform the title, I say!

In my last post on my blog, “New World Order,” I wrote about the new arrangement my Master and I have come to, regarding discipline and punishment and how they will fit in our lives. In it, I discuss the dubious joys of Cod Liver Oil….

Well, now I’ve had a taste of it, and let me tell you, no “spoonful of sugar” is gonna help that medicine go down!

But before I get to that, I should discuss why this sort of thing is going to be happening to me at all.

I blame Tom & Jerry. It was after seeing the cartoon “Baby Puss,” as a wee girl that I became obsessed with the idea of “Castor Oil” as a punishment. (Of course, the reason I’d paid such attention to the cartoon in the first place was that it starts with the threat of a spanking with a hairbrush! It also left me with some other interesting ideas, but that’s a post for another time!)

Uncyclopedia humorously states: “Castor Oil is one of the oldest forms of punishment for children, with use going back to the Neolithic era. Until the early 1980s parents found it almost as effective as spanking, although it has, along with lynching, suffered a downturn in recent years due to political correctness.”

Continuing in the humour, this time unintentional, The New York Times published an article called “Subsitutions” on April 4, 1884, which includes this jewel: “So great is the juvenile horror of castor-oil that all parents know that not even the threat of a severe flogging can induce a small-boy [sic] to swallow the nauseous dose … It follows that castor-oil as a punishment in schools is far more to be dreaded than flogging, and should it be generally adopted, small-boys will everywhere petition for the restoration of the rod.” (For any spanko, it’s worth reading the whole thing!)

And from the wonderful CorPun website, we get the “Home Office internal memorandum, 14 June 1923 Knowle Hill (Kenilworth, Warwickshire) Training School for Girls Notes by Miss Wall.” After an “Outbreak Of Insubordination” (whee!):

“Miss Langley then spoke of Ethel Milton, 13-5/12, who had had 12 strokes of the tawse on the seat. She said that a few days after this Ethel started bouncing a ball in the passage and knocking it against the office door on purpose. She did not feel that Ethel had sufficiently recovered from corporal punishment on the seat for her to administer another whipping, so she said she was to have one tablespoonful of castor oil. This she refused, so she was given two, which she took.”

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Discrection and Compartments

I've been lucky in many ways. For almost my entire adult life I've had
the luxury of being "out" to everyone close to me. Although it wasn't
by choice, my parents found out all the gory details of my relationship
pretty early on. When you live in a family comprised of one man and two
women, the neighbors notice. We even came out to the school. I've
never held a job where it mattered one way or the other if people
figured out what was going on at home. I couldn't afford to. Having an
unorthodox living arrangement and having appeared in adult films come
together to make things not worth hiding.

So why don't I have this same luxury now? Basically, because our wife left us.

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Welcoming Zille: Changes to the PB

1-to-9A quick look at the right sidebar will tell you the basics — we’ve added another author to the PB — something not done often or lightly.  This puts our number at nine, which the science (and here I use the word science quite wrongly) of numerology says represents the beginning and end of all human experience.

Great, so no pressure on the new girl.

Who is this new author?

::drum roll::

It’s Zille Defeu.  (Zille is pronounced as rhyming with “Jill” — not “silly” or “file”.)

Zille has her own website and blog with a lovely “about” page in case you want to get ahead of things.  She will, no doubt, be introducing herself in the coming days.

Several of us have gotten to know her over the past year and then discovered that, of course, we have mutual friends.  In my case, I started reading Zille’s Twitter feed at about the same time she started reading mine.  Tweets turned to emails and some phone calls before we met at Shadow Lane this past September and ended up talking about life, the universe and spanking.

There’s a lot I like about Zille and what she brings to the scene and ‘net.  I want to go into some detail here, but keep deleting everything I put down because I don’t want to force her hand in what she writes about or when she writes.  I’ll stick with teasing — there’s a lot she can say here and I’m excited just thinking about her saying it.   When will be up to her.  So stay tuned.

Most importantly though, welcome Zille.  Nine is a great number and we’re very glad to have you here.

Image Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lwr/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0