So I’m en route from Minnesota to California, currently in the great state of Utah. Even though my mom and I are mostly occupied with talking to each other, listening to Harry Potter on tape, and seeing lots of beautiful scenery, I still have a bunch of time to think. And I’ve been thinking. Lately, I’ve been thinking about the difference between punishments that are the you-earned-this kind and punishments that are the you-are-NEVER-going-to-do-this-again kind.
It seems to me that each serves a purpose, but the first sort is easier
to talk about and keep track of. If I don’t do a certain thing that M
and I have agreed on, I get spanked because I didn’t follow through.
When the punishment is over, it’s over. I might request it if I
feel guilty (eh, Angie?), but it’s for an agreed-upon incident that is more or less discrete. And I can even rationalize it as part of an adult relationship, where I know my needs and my partner is meeting them.
The other kind is a bit trickier as far as I can tell. These are the kind of spankings that are more serious than the transgressions merit, intended to discourage a repeat of the behavior. They move into the realm of childish punishments, where someone else is taking responsibility for my behavior and its modification. It’s not anything I’ve requested (probably) and is far more frequent in fantasies than realities.
OK, I realize my ramblings are a bit muddled. Remember, they’ve been rattling around my head for the last four days and I haven’t talked them out until now. So here’s an example: M really hates it when I stick my tongue out in a "Nyah, nyah" kind of way. I’ve mostly stopped doing it because I know he dislikes it so much, but if I had continued, he could have dealt with it in either one of these ways. He could have set a penalty for every time I stuck my tongue out: ten paddle swats or something like that. Or he could have fried my butt really intensely the first time I did it, made me sore for a week and wish that I didn’t even *have* a tongue.
Like many of my posts, this doesn’t really have a point. I guess I’m wondering what you all think. Do you have experience with both kinds? Do they both work? Am I’m making a false distinction?