After Spanking

An acquaintance commented recently that while I have frequently described real-life scenes (play or punishment) and have shared them over the years in newsgroups, disguised as fictional writing, with friends and even in chatrooms with other spankos, I don’t generally report or share in written form what happens in the hours after the scene. As my playtime with C is usually overtly sexual, it stands to reason that my scene descriptions would be so, too.

Not necessarily so.

Certainly my scene descriptions often allude to an underlying sexual agenda even if I don’t address it directly. I don’t (couldn’t) deny the arousing aspects of play, or that I find certain types of kink extremely … err … exciting. I also can’t deny that spanking, in and of itself, is both stimulating and painful.

I have several reasons for creating a proverbial ‘line in the sand’ while relating scenes for public consumption, whether for play or punishment.

First, to be frank, relating the explicit details of my own sexual encounters is terribly embarrassing. Now, embarrassment can enhance or augment play and punishment, I know. However, while I might confess the wicked details to one or two close friends and blush brightly, I’m not into public humiliation. Secondly, I instinctively and rabidly insist on protecting what I perceive to be those very private and intimate engagements with my husband. If in sharing that intimacy with others I somehow devalued those moments, I doubt I would ever forgive myself – or ever write anything again. Quite simply, I have an emotional investment in C and I’s relationship that I will protect.

So how *do* I feel following playtime? What does go on?

Sex, usually. If not immediately then later. That’s the physical outcome. The thoroughness of that sexual experience varies and is what I avoid explicitly describing.

The context – the setting – of the event is what generally will determine how I feel following playtime. On one hand, playtime causes an immediate, intense desire for sexual intimacy. On the other hand, (well-deserved) punishment causes an immediate and longer-lasting need for emotional reassurance, often manifested through intimacy. Arousal may be a side effect as well, but that arousal is often a delayed reaction to be enjoyed after any guilt and most of the pain have dissipated.

In other words, if my scene descriptions do not infer that sex immediately followed spanking, that doesn’t mean it didn’t. Or that it did – we might have waited.

* Note:  This has been cross-posted to my personal blog, Life in Motion.

6 thoughts on “After Spanking

  1. Natty

    I’m the same way when it comes to sexual details. It’s just something that seems too intimate. That for some reason my exhibitionism disappears there, though I’m not exactly sure why. Possibly for me it’s a religious thing. While intellectually I’ve divorced sex from “bad,” I haven’t quite done that emotionally. I think also, like you, I feel like sharing something that’s so intimate is betraying something between A. and I. But maybe that’s because it’s still something very new and fresh.
    Sex rarely follows spanking for A. and I, and so far, definitely not when it’s been a punishment spanking. Don’t know if that will change in the future, but for now I need the two to be separate. Punishment usually appeals to something little and childlike in me and intertwining the two feels almost creepy (not that we haven’t manged to do that in other ways — lol). But I can totally understand where you’re coming from in having that need for intimacy following punishment as well.
    Great post!

    Reply
  2. Natty

    I’m the same way when it comes to sexual details. It’s just something that seems too intimate. That for some reason my exhibitionism disappears there, though I’m not exactly sure why. Possibly for me it’s a religious thing. While intellectually I’ve divorced sex from “bad,” I haven’t quite done that emotionally. I think also, like you, I feel that sharing something that’s so intimate is betraying something between A. and I. But maybe that’s because it’s still something very new and fresh.
    Sex rarely follows spanking for A. and I, and so far, definitely not when it’s been a punishment spanking. Don’t know if that will change in the future, but for now I need the two to be separate. Punishment usually appeals to something little and childlike in me and intertwining the two feels almost creepy (not that we haven’t manged to do that in other ways — lol). But I can totally understand where you’re coming from in having that need for intimacy following punishment as well.
    Great post!

    Reply
  3. Jessica

    Iโ€™ve just discovered โ€œThe Punishment Bookโ€ and have been scouring through your posts all night. It is wonderful to read intelligent and strong women talking about D/s or whatever you want to call it. Anyway my point that I wanted to make was that I really enjoy the fact that you leave out the sexual details out. It makes me feel more comfortable somehow.

    Reply
  4. Mija

    Thanks for the kind words Jessica. “Whatever you want to call it” works for me. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    I leave the sexual details out because for Pablo and me sex and spanking aren’t really connected in that one definitely doesn’t lead to the other. Spanking is really much more powerful and exists in its own right.
    Besides, I’m a producted of a lot of Catholic repression. Sexual details? Eeeek!

    Reply
  5. Angie

    Hi Ladies. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Sex after spanking for punishment rarely of ever happens with us. It’s very much like what Natty wrote — punishment hits me (so to speak) on another level and I can’t switch gears like that. Intimacy, though, is horse of a different color. I really need to be held and touched and told that I’m loved after.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *