Equality (or not)

There's this immensely cool writer person called John Scalzi; I heard him speak about blogs at the last WorldCon, and have been blog-stalking him ever since.* It looks like one of his back entries has been hit by one of our, erm, friends of the God Says Man Is HoH ilk, and Scalzi refutes her with a persuasive list of reasons why, if one were drawn to choose a head of household, his wife would be more qualified for the title.

It was fun to read (because I take a lot of pleasure out of preachy HoH nuts having their empty wee heads slammed in), but it made me quite sad. It is an objective truth that in our family Abel is the competent person who knows who to call when the car breaks down, and such, and I'm an artistic soul in need of serious maintenance (which is just longhand for "incompetent").

Were I a man and Abel a woman, it would be quirky-cool for me to admit that she (Abel) should be appointed a head of household, because she (Abel) takes care of the practical side of our family life. But, being a woman, I simply can't afford to say this, because how many HoH nuts would file this away as another proof of inferiority of all that's female to all that's male? And when you add to it the fact that we're into spanking, and that I don't bring in any money other than from the sales of some porn stories – well, there would be no use for me to scream "But we don't *believe* in your HoH stuff, we're equals!" – I'd be forever written off as a Weak Female. And perhaps as a traitor to the feminist cause, as well.

My point? Being an incompetent, masochistic feminist is a lonely place.


*Did you know I went to WorldCon in Glasgow? Well, I did. The move to the UK had been worth it just for a chance to go. It was full of writers like you wouldn't believe it; disturbingly, I had previously blog-stalked so many of the younger, cooler of them, that it felt like we should all be mates, but of course, that's what stalkers usually feel in their more delusional moments.**

**A few nights ago I dreamt that one of those writers, who is possibly the most handsome man I've ever seen off a TV screen, gave me a caning. I didn't feel a thing, as is usual in dreams, but I revel in the pleasure of dreaming about somebody so beautiful. It's really odd, because I don't normally go for traditionally handsome men, nor for the young ones.***

***Hi, Abel 🙂

10 thoughts on “Equality (or not)

  1. Mija

    Hee! It’s like you’re channeling Terry Pratchett — even your footnotes have footnotes. 🙂 Either that or you’ve just been working too hard on that thesis (as opposed to hardly working, which is sadly what I’ve been doing).
    (More on your point later!)

  2. Haron

    Mija, I am but a worm. I haven’t got around to reading past the first Pratchett book, despite all my sf-conscious friends promising to disown me if I don’t. *And* despite (by a lucky accident) sitting Really Close to the man himself at WorldCon. So I don’t know whether his footnotes have footnotes.
    Must be the thesis.

  3. Abel

    You miss the point that you are the most competent person imaginable in terms of making me happy, loved and secure.

  4. Jen

    You went to Worldcon this year? I’m jealous. Greg went of course, but there was no way I could’ve afforded it. Not sure if you remember Greg, he used to be on the group as Greg T. If you saw a vampire while you were there, with a ruffled shirt, black cape with red lining, and a really cool walking stick, that was him. 🙂

  5. Haron

    ‘Course I remember Greg, Jen. Mostly from your play reports, but I remember seeing him ’round.
    Don’t know if I’ve seen a vampire or not, though. I’ve seen plenty of people who knew a thing or two about dressing up, but not sure whether there was a vampire among them. 🙂

  6. Jen

    I couldn’t remember when you started posting, and I know that Greg hasn’t been on the group since the outing/charter debacle years ago. I could email you a pic if you want, so you could see what he looks like in his costume. 🙂 I have lots of pics from the Worldcons we’ve been to, because he wears the ensemble for the whole time he’s there.

  7. Mija

    You are not a worm. Except the bookish sort. Pratchett can take a while to get into, especially since the discworld series doesn’t really hit its stride until about 4 books in.
    Did you also get to see or sit near Neil Gaiman? If so I may have to die of envy.

  8. Angie

    You know, I totally get this WHOLE thing. Dave is very much the HoH (though we’re not technically living in the same house anymore), for all of the reasons you mentioned — but I’d have trouble admitting that to those who believe he earned that title by being the one of us to have a penis.


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