A lot of stuff has been going on around here recently. Not that this is an excuse or anything, but it's hard for me to think clearly about discipline, punishment, spanking, kink, or anything sexual when my parents inhabit my office and other living space and work occupies nearly every waking minute that the baby doesn’t.
Anyway, awhile ago, Lil asked the question: "Have any of you ever needed discipline (even a play spanking) from your Dom, then discovered that he is not remotely interested in giving you one, or even having anything at all to do with spanking?"
The question brought up an entire gamut of emotions and memories for me. And to be honest, a (general) topic I've considered writing about before is the dissonance between partners' kinks and/or libidos. It's a topic in which I have a personal interest.
I suppose most of the time that most married couples don't have equal libidos. That is, one half of the couple is probably more interested in sex than the other half. Or, at least, at any given opportunity, one partner is generally more interested in sex than the other because of fatigue, stress, timing, atmosphere, or even the evening television schedule. So I suspect it is normal that partners' kink abilities don't exactly align either.
Lately I’ve been ill a lot, and consequently ended up spending lots of time staring into space, arranging and re-arranging various pieces of work in my head into increasingly scary action plans.
I have quite a lot to do, you see. There’s the thesis. There’s my fiction writing. And there’s something Which Must Not Be Named, but alright, as you’re curious I’ll say it once and never say its name again. *motions for the readers to move their heads closer into the circle* Job search! (There. Now you know. My name is Haron, and I’m terrified of applying for jobs.)
Yeah, anyway. You’ll be pleased to know (I think) that since my last update I haven’t earned any new punishments. The draconian regime has been working (that’s when I haven’t been sneezing my nose off). Yet, it hasn’t stopped me from peering at my work load with eyes wide open in terror. Instead of focusing on every day as it comes, I cower in front of the big picture.
And what do you know? Abel has come up with another cunning plan.
My contributions to this site have thus far been rather sparse. For that I apologise, but I haven’t had anything specific to write about. However, Mija’s post, ‘So, Does It Work?’ has got me thinking. (Especially since I’m writing this instead of the story whose deadline is just around the corner!) Mija, I couldn’t agree more with your answers ‘Yes, no, sometimes and it depends’ in response to the question about whether RL discipline works.
Most people think of spanking exclusively in terms of sexuality. And well, certainly the buttocks are physiologically set up for a great deal of erogenous potential. However, I find that spanking is a core part of me that taps into almost every aspect of who I am, with sexuality being only one part.
Does discipline and punishment work for me? This is probably a question for the site FAQ (er, when we get around to writing one). It’s something that has come up in the Usenet group we’ve all been part of (alt.sex.spanking and its successor soc.sexuality.spanking). Can any adult, especially an adult with a spanking fetish (which I feel safe in saying all of the blog authors have to some degree or other) be punished by spanking and have that punishment work to change their behavior?
My answer: Yes, no, sometimes and it depends.
Does that make sense?